Top 10 Global Submissions of 2014

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Tony Kelley vs. Chris Pham
Legacy Fighting Championship 32
June 20 | Bossier City, La.
Jordan Breen: I'll be completely honest: this one is weird.

First of all, the fight itself features Tony Kelley, most famous for his appearances on MTV reality show "Caged," detailing his dreams of being a cage fighter. Since the show wrapped in 2012, Kelley has gone 3-0 as a pro and gotten hooked up with Team Alpha Male. On the other hand, he went through several months of legal drama before eventually being found not guilty of simple battery in January 2013, the case stemming from a March 2012 incident where a woman in his hometown of Shreveport, La., claimed that Kelley had choked her after she refused his request to dance. From the get-go, we're not dealing with your average regional MMA undercard bout. On top of that, despite both guys being young pros, it was even a rematch, as Kelley had won a unanimous decision over Pham as an amateur in October 2011.

Then, there's the choke itself. Obviously, you've notice we've included a bootleg video shot on someone's phone from the crowd. You might just think that we were being lazy or didn't want to step on AXS TV's toes, but in reality, it somehow manages to show off a lot of mechanics of the choke better than the television cameras did. Seriously, check out this .gif from the broadcast, made by indispensable and outstanding sports .gif lord Zombie Prophet. Do you have any idea what the hell really happens from that position?

In the FightFinder, it's listed as a "shoulder choke," which is usually the designation we use for the "Von Flue choke" to avoid giving undue publicity to fighters. No slight to Jason Von Flue, of course, it's nothing personal; only Masahiko Kimura gets that honor. However, this is not really a Von Flue choke, strictly speaking. With a traditional shoulder choke, your opponent has usually made the idiotic decision to hold onto a headlock while you pass to side control on the far side, allowing you to get head control, ram your shoulder into their carotid and put them to bed. In this case, Kelley tries to lock up a standing, no-hooks rear-naked choke, which doesn't really work for about four million reasons. Pham bails out and tries to get to the mat, but ends up twisting his head into a position where he's still got pressure on his carotid artery, despite looking like “PrimeTime” is doing nothing but smothering him with a weird figure-four facelock. Then all of a sudden, Pham goes from elbowing Kelley's thigh to completely unconscious and looking like his soul has been taken in the blink of an eye. Technically, Kelley does use his shoulder to choke Pham out and I'm just not sure what else this mutant, bastard submission. You know, other than brutal.

I feel bad for referee Stan McCandlish. I have no opinion on him as an official, but at Legacy FC 32 he was handed one of those awkward MMA moments you can't prepare for. Pham doesn't appear to be in any threat of a legitimate, recognized submission and is actively throwing elbows. Then all of a sudden, he goes completely limp and Kelley manages to get a brutal elbow in to bounce his head off the mat before McCandlish can get there. Fights like this are why the "refs have the hardest job" trope exists, especially in combat sports, doubly so in MMA.

Number 7 » Branch's Breakthrough Brabo